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After 30 years of marriage, Abie and Becky decide to go on separate vacations. Abe go down to the seashore while Becky decides to go to a mountain resort. After about a week, Abe writes to Becky:



Dear Becky:



I’m having a great time here at the seashore. I met a lovely college girl who’s working in the hotel’s dining room and after her dinner shift, she’s been showing me around the town each evening. We’re having a great time. Hope you’re well and enjoying the mountains.



Love, Abe.



Well, Becky gets the letter and is just livid with anger. She grabs pen and paper and replies to Abe:



Dear Abie:



I too am having a great time on my vacation. All the waiters in the resort’s dining room are college boys, and one of them and I have been taking in all the shows at the different hotels each night after dinner. Be well and see you soon.



Love, Becky



P.S. Remember, 19 goes into 57 more than 57 goes into 19!

There was once a medical student specializing in pathology who truly wanted to excel in his studies. Without fail, he would daily visit the school’s path lab following his classes to do extra work. One evening he uncovered a cadaver only to notice a cork plugging its rectum. Curious, he removed the cork only to hear, "On the road again, I just can’t wait to get on the road again..."



Startled, he replaced the cork. Curiosity soon got the best of him and he, once again, removed the cork. Again, he heard the same tune, "On the road again, I just can’t wait to get on the road again..."



He could stand it no more. He replaced the cork, covered the cadaver and raced upstairs to his professor’s office. He persuaded the man to accompany him back to the lab. Once there, the student again uncovered the cadaver and displayed the corked rectum.



The professor looked unfazed. When the student removed the cork, the same tune emanated, "On the road again, I just..."



The professor looked bored and started to walk away.



The student was aghast at this casual response. He said to the professor, "Don’t you find this amazing?"



The professor replied, "Not really, almost any asshole can sing country and western."

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"



The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse’s ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."



The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse’s ear, then slaps it on the back. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing."



The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last wish, white man. What you want?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."



The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells,



"I said, bring a POSSE!"

COMMENTS

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TheSYSTEM
13:00 Mar 12 2015

LOL!

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